Welcome to your Instrucciones Para Poner La Saronga. Please have a seat in the mall. You are welcome to peruse as long as you like. The pictures hopefully will give you a glimpse into the third world of those who economically use these garments for almost everything. Please refrain from using this garment as "T.P." until you would consider yourself an advanced user. For instance, while still learning the 'ropes' of this garment, you might wipe your nose with the same corner you use to wipe the dishes. This would not be a good idea, if the dish were to be used by someone other than yourself. As you gain profiency in the use of this fabric, you will soon learn to designate areas of it to certain things, and to memorize the layout of these designations. Soon, your garment will take on a uniqueness and life of it's own. ENJOY.
This photo depicts the garment being modeled as a "sarong" or "sari." This look is achieved one of three ways. The first is by wrapping the skirt around your hips TWICE and allowing the two corners to meet and be tied together. This is how our model is wearing it and you can tell by her expression that breathing is nearly impossible, however she is not in danger of flashing anyone. The second way would be to wrap just once and tie. This affords much deeper breaths, but also shows your entire thigh and buttocks. Not entirely appropriate for streetwear. The third alternative would be to simply tuck and fold wherever the clothing reaches. Safety pins might be useful. Featured beside our model is the wonderful glass art of Chuck St. John, Linda's husband.
This is essentially the same look, but a little sluttier. The material is folded lengthwise in half and then wrapped in the same way. Our model is wearing another skirt underneath because her legs are too hairy to show on the internet. Ahem.
This is great for fall wear. When a jacket is just too much, but bare arms are just too cold. It flows around you elegantly and reminds you of your cosmic origins. Alternately, on a hot day, this garment gives you much needed shade, offering coolness and protection from those aweful UV rays. A non-chemical, beautiful alternative to sunscreen. Simply lay one corner on one should and fling the other with Castor Troy/Darth Vader/Grim Reaper melodrama over your other shoulder.
A slight alteration from the previous pose. This one takes advantage of the extra fabric hanging down your back and uses it to shade your face, keep sunburn from happening on the oft-overlooked but oh so delicate scalp, and additionally will keep some of the more timid bugs from swarming your face. Bon Appetit. [Melodrama still applicable] The deck on which many of these shots were taken is the deck built by Chuck St. John which sweeps around two sides of their house, nestled on the top of hill in a cluster of trees. Close to neighbors, but nestled deeply enough to be fairly secluded. At the bottom of the hill is a stream whose sound soothes while it runs in the summer
This is the first in a sequence of images which depict the "muslim head wrap" style of wear. This is ideal if you're having a really bad hair day. It is also a great way to get the sarong out of your way. It essentially consists of twisting it into a long coil which eventually gets tight enough to wrap around your head. Careful wrapping it too tightly though, as this can cause pain in the head, although it makes for quite a stable head decoration. Flowers can be tucked in the twist for a bright crown look.
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Let's not forget that this fabric is not only a garment of wear, but also of many household uses. It's perfect for drying off clean (or nearly so) wet dishes or hands. Perfect for wiping up a spilled drink when another non-disposable item is not at hand. Works well also as an occasional napkin. This use does not extend to certain meals, such as chicken wings or ribs. Finger food, neh.
Blowing your nose with this garment is a less common occurance than wiping your nose with it, but it makes for a better photo. Blowing ones nose is a risky business with this garment because a big booger on it would be unbecoming. But if you know your blow will consist mainly of fluid, then feel free. This may be an activity which an intermediate user would take part in.
One obvious use of this fabric is the picnic/nap blanket. It is perfect to protect your dainty bottom from the rough earth beneath, but thin enough to keep the feel of sitting on the earth. Additionally, it brushes off quite easily when you're done and ready to don it once again as a piece of clothing. RIP our model. Pictured behind our corpse is the garden. You can see crowds of beet greens poking their way up, some of which we enjoyed for dinner a few nights ago!
When a yoga mat is nowhere in sight, this fabric will beat the pants off of doing yoga on a rocky, sandy, itchy, buggy, or stickery terrain. When a yoga mat IS in sight, it is the perfect barrier to put between mat and ground, to keep your yoga mat in top condition. It's top of the line.
When you bear a child, this garment is the perfect way to keep you hands free while still toting Baby with you, perfectly at breast level. Our model is shown in the picture cradling Baby, but in fact, she could use her hands for any number of other things because the sarong is tied around her right shoulder, coming up under her left arm, it securely keeps Baby close to her bosom. The statue on the starboard side of our model "mother" here is another sculpture by Chuck St. John. It's enjoyed best at nite, lit up by it's lights, but you can see in the photo that the various 64 hexagrams of the I Ching are inscribed about it's surface.
Not pictured here is the final use of this garment: An altar cloth. It is a beautiful addtion to a sacred space used for meditation, chanting or other cosmic activites designed to catapult your soul to higher planes/states. It can be draped over a box, or any table-like thing and upon it can be set candles, incense and other objects which are sacred to you. This is the least fun use of this garment cause nobody can look at it and tell you how gorgeous it makes you. Also, wax can spill on your garment and ruin it forever. The altar use of this garment is not pictured here because, try as she might, our photographer could not capture this scene on film. Each picture that was taken showed only empty space, and sometimes a smoke like swirl. One of the photos showed a brilliant light which transported all who gazed upon the photo into ecstatic states of rapture and one person saw Mikel Gorbechov's mole wink at him from within the light. We decided not to put this on the web so as not to overflow our server with traffic. Namaste.